Free 2 Play

“Hello, Love. I haven’t heard from you for ages…”

Kate Wixford stood with the small tray in her hands waiting for Trudi Packworth to notice her. The tray contained a large pot of tea and a small plate containing greasy fish finger sandwiches.

She sniffed loudly, hoping to catch Trudi’s attention.

“Yes, love, I did get my verrucas seen to — the doctor was absolutely marvellous.”

Kate resorted to snorting like a pig. Unintentionally loud, but it seemed to have caught the woman's attention.

Trudi acknowledged the waitress with a wave of her hand. Pointing towards the free space in the centre of the Formica enveloped table-top. She continued her conversation with an old friend from a previous workplace.

“Oh, I nearly forgot. The most, marvellous thing has now happened to me, I’m going to be a mom.”

With her eyes opening wide like a rabbit caught in headlights, Kate kept her cool and didn’t spill a drop as she gently laid the tray down in front of the customer.

“Did I just hear that the elderly lady was pregnant?” The waitress thought to herself. Quickly busied herself wiping the adjacent table, with a damp cloth pulled from beneath her belt.

Mrs Packworth was known locally as a remarkably flirtatious widow. No man escaped her attention. Many had tried using the, “I’m sorry, but I am currently happily married!” card, to no avail. Trudi was relentless.

The woman under scrutiny laughed. It has often been likened to the braying of an asthmatic donkey — with hiccups. But at that moment Kate thought that was probably an understatement. She tried not to be too obvious, as she attempted to catch some more of the scintillating conversation taking place on the phone.

“Sorry, what did you say?” Trudi poked a finger into her ear to clear any errant wax. The phone was again pushed closely towards her ear.

“Oh, let me think. What did he say? Oh, yes — At least four or five, and if I am really lucky six little bundles of joy…”

Kate began to cough uncontrollably as the mint in her mouth was unavoidably sucked into her lungs. Panicking with the inability to take a breath, she could only vainly point at her throat and hoped someone would understand her predicament.

Putting her phone on the table without a word to the other party on the line. Trudi stood and gripped the poor waitress from behind and performed with one swift movement, the Heimlich manoeuvre. Pulling tightly on Kate's abdominal area, the glacier mint flew across the room to land with a plop, into a fresh pitcher of iced water. Without waiting for thanks, Trudi Packworth sat down and picked up the phone to continue her conversation.

After a few more minutes of idle chatter, Trudi was now feeling hungry and decided the time was ripe to end the phone call. She began the process of saying her goodbyes, ending the phone call by finally uttering. “Yes, I promise I will send you pictures of them as soon as they are born. Love you, see you sometime soon, bye.”

Placing the mobile phone on the table. She idly took a sandwich, split the top and bottom and casually poured tomato ketchup over the oily fish fingers inside. She mused to herself, “It was such a nice day, and you can’t beat a nice fish finger sarnie and a cup of tea to top it off.”

Behind the counter, a slightly different version of her conversation was being discussed by two other individuals.

“Oh, come on. She is at least in her seventies, and you say she is pregnant?”

“Honest to god, I heard every single word she said. You could have knocked me over with a feather when I heard her say four to six little ones…”

Tilly Williams put her ample hand across her mouth in exaggerated shock. ”What is the excellent lord thinking about? Look at all those young women, that can’t bring children into the world. She stacked the trays and gripped either side as she made her way back to the food counter.

Placing them ready to clean on the stainless steel sink, Kate asked her employer a simple question.

“I just can’t make her out. Do you think there is more to this than meets the eye?”

“Well, I am disappointed, I’d have thought she would have been grateful for more sustenance in her condition. Still, there’s nothing stranger than folk…” said Tilly popping several fish fingers into the frying pan, as she was now feeling a little peckish herself.

“Thank the fishes in the sea for the fish fingers. I don’t know what I would do without them.”

Katy nodded in agreement, already busy buttering enough bread for two.